


I Scream, You Scream, We Fall in Love (I Hope)

by orphan_account



Series: HSWC 2014 BR Fills [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Magical Ice Cream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 09:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1814410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What better way to take advantage of the magical ice cream that makes people fall in love with you than by trying to guess the cute ice cream boy's flavor?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Scream, You Scream, We Fall in Love (I Hope)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:
> 
> Karkat/Terezi
> 
> Karkat works at a magical ice cream shop where you'll instantly and completely fall into requited love for a day, based on which of the limitless flavors you choose. Terezi is this one customer who keeps trying to guess Karkat's flavor, and who Karkat is sincerely thinking about punching if she doesn't knock it off.

_Day 3_

The adorable ice cream boy with the scratchy voice thought it was a fluke that you came in two days in a row. He is no longer under this incorrect impression. He now knows that you’re after something.

“You know, I bet this stuff causes cancer or something. If you eat it every day, you’re probably going to get cancer. Is this person really worth getting cancer?”

“What doesn’t cause cancer?” you say, accepting your rich chocolate concoction. He sure did put a lot of whipped cream on it. You consider this lucky, possibly even flirtatious. Maybe it’s working already.

You take a bite, savor it, sure that the third time is the charm. You swallow and give him a careful yet could-be-construed-as-flirtatious look.

“That’ll be three ninety-eight,” he says.

_Day 5_

“What’s your name, anyway?”

“What’s yours?”

“It literally says right on my nametag.”

“I’m blind, you asshole.”

“Oh. Sorry, I forgot. You don’t act very blind.” He pauses. “It’s Karkat. My name.”

“Mine’s Terezi.”

Today’s flavor is a strawberry cheesecake. You were so sure. His voice just screams ‘soothe me with your strawberry, cheesecake-y goodness.’ No dice.

_Day 11_

“Karkles, do me a flavor.”

“I’m not telling you. You’re gonna go broke spending all your money on ice cream and I’ll never tell you. Also, I’m ashamed of you for making that pun.”

You wink and snap at him, then try your chocolate chip cookie dough. Who doesn’t like chocolate chip cookie dough?

Apparently, this guy.

_Day 14_

“You’re going to get fat off of this stuff, you know. And then no matter how magical our ice cream is, no one is going to love you.”

“You’d still love me even if I was fat.”

“I don’t love you now, dingus.”

“‘Dingus?’”

“I’m not allowed to swear at the customers.”

“You’re insulting the customers.”

“You’re basically stalking me!”

“Karkat, seriously. I have not followed you home even once. I am simply a good customer. I’ve always dreamed of being a regular some place. And now that goal is fulfilled.”

“How’s your other goal, then? Is the Oreo making me swoon? Am I swooning?”

“How should I know?”

_Day 23_

“How was your date?”

He’s referring to the girl who ran up to you yesterday as you left the shop and kissed you forcefully on the mouth, then insisted on buying you lunch, despite the fact that you already had perfectly good ice cream to eat. Most days have been a bust—you haven’t even seen the people who are supposedly in love with you—so this was pretty surprising.

“It was excellent, thank you. We’re moving in with each other at the end of the week.”

“What, seriously?”

“No. We just made out a lot. Please give me two scoops of something fruity.”

“Too much information. And the only fruity ones you haven’t tried are sherbet.”

“Do they work the same?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I don’t care.”

“Do I really seem like a sherbet guy to you?”

“Not in the least, but I might as well do this thing all the way.”

Karkat is not a sherbet guy.

_Day 27_

“Should you really be having ice cream when you’re sick?”

“I appreciate your concern, but this is important.” You punctuate your statement with a sneeze.

“Don’t you think it’s a little underhanded to eat magical ice cream to get someone to fall in love with you? And it only works for a day anyway, so don’t you run the risk of realizing how great they are and how much you can’t live without them and then the next day they don’t care about you at all?”

“Did that happen to you?”

“No.”

“You hesitated.”

“It didn’t happen to me.”

“Fine. But if you’re so concerned about that, why do you work here? You’re selling false hope to zillions of teenagers everywhere.”

“I’m just selling ice cream.”

_Day 30_

“Why do you guys only sell 30 flavors? Don’t you have to compete with Baskin Robbins?”

“Baskin Robbins’ ice cream doesn’t make people fall in love with you.”

“Fair point.” You’re stalling, and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s because you have a bad feeling that maybe Karkat is the only one this magic ice cream doesn’t work on. But the way he talks about it, you’re sure he’s used it before. He’s got a deep, dark past and you want to crack it. And you will, with this last flavor. Plain vanilla. You never would have guessed. You didn’t think vanilla would get you anyone.

He passes it over the counter to your waiting hands. But when you take it, he doesn’t let go. “I feel like I should tell you something.”

Your heart sinks a little, but you don’t let it show through your big, toothy smile. “I had that same feeling for the past month. But now it’s too late. Nothing you say can keep me from tasting this delicious, boring, vanilla ice cream.”

“Terezi, that’s not my flavor.”

There it is. You can’t help the corners of your mouth sagging down. “How is that possible?” You’re suddenly angry. You very nearly throw your ice cream on the floor, but you don’t want to be bad sport. He could be lying. He could be desperate.

Do you really want to make a boy who’s desperate to avoid you fall in love with you against his will?

“We had other flavors that didn’t get put out. Mine’s…” He sighs. “It’s cherry. No one liked the cherry in the tests, so they canceled it. There is no cherry anymore.”

You’re silent for once. You stand in front of the ice cream, feeling the chill from the freezers more now than you ever have before. Suddenly, you’re not very hungry. “Do you want this? I’m going to throw it away otherwise.”

“I don’t touch that stuff anymore.”

“Anymore?”

“Shit… I mean shoot. Augh, who even cares. Yeah, you were right. I had some once and it went bad for me. I hate this crap. I’m glad it doesn’t work on me.”

You walk over to the trash can and drop the ice cream into it. “I guess I’ll go, then.”

“Terezi, wait.”

You wait.

“I… I don’t want to use the stupid ice cream, but if you wanted, maybe we could try… Fuck… Like normal people? Going on dates, and shit?”

You turn around. “Why couldn’t you have said that before I spent a hundred dollars on ice cream?”

He squeaks in protest. “You could have just asked me out at any time!”

You grin again. “That’s too easy.”


End file.
